Sequential recommendation is a popular paradigm in modern recommender systems. In particular, one challenging problem in this space is cross-domain sequential recommendation (CDSR), which aims to predict future behaviors given user interactions across multiple domains. Existing CDSR frameworks are mostly built on the self-attention transformer and seek to improve by explicitly injecting additional domain-specific components (e.g. domain-aware module blocks). While these additional components help, we argue they overlook the core self-attention module already present in the transformer, a naturally powerful tool to learn correlations among behaviors. In this work, we aim to improve the CDSR performance for simple models from a novel perspective of enhancing the self-attention. Specifically, we introduce a Pareto-optimal self-attention and formulate the cross-domain learning as a multi-objective problem, where we optimize the recommendation task while dynamically minimizing the cross-domain attention scores. Our approach automates knowledge transfer in CDSR (dubbed as AutoCDSR) - it not only mitigates negative transfer but also encourages complementary knowledge exchange among auxiliary domains. Based on the idea, we further introduce AutoCDSR+, a more performant variant with slight additional cost. Our proposal is easy to implement and works as a plug-and-play module that can be incorporated into existing transformer-based recommenders. Besides flexibility, it is practical to deploy because it brings little extra computational overheads without heavy hyper-parameter tuning. We conduct experiments over both large-scale production recommender data as well as academic benchmarks, where AutoCDSR consistently enhances the performance of base transformers, enabling simple models to perform on par with state-of-the-art with less overhead (e.g., 4x faster than state-of-the-art CDSR models). AutoCDSR on average improves Recall@10 for SASRec and Bert4Rec by 9.8% and 16.0% and NDCG@10 by 12.0% and 16.7%, respectively. Code is available at https://github.com/snap-research/AutoCDSR.