Post-Roe, people capable of pregnancy face fragmented reproductive privacy landscapes in the United States (U.S.), with risks spanning legal, digital, and interpersonal domains. These conditions demand new forms of privacy guidance. We analyzed 212 reproductive health zines— a DIY, subversive, and collectively produced media genre—to understand how they communicate reproductive health information. Zines foreground embodied, first-person narratives interwoven with historical context, medical guidance, and activist messaging. We argue their use of subversive or alternative medical knowledge enhanced credibility in contexts of low institutional trust. While some zines offer digital privacy strategies, many focus on avoiding institutional exposure altogether. These emotionally resonant, context-sensitive accounts illustrate threat models attuned to entangled risks of interpersonal betrayal, legal precarity, and surveillance. We conclude with design implications for how zines might better support people navigating reproductive risk through what we call narrative threat modeling—a situated practice that communicates privacy strategies through story, tone, and form rather than technical instructions or prescriptive checklists.