Neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with Autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), frequently experience anxiety, panic attacks, meltdowns, and emotional dysregulation due to societal pressures and inadequate accommodations. These challenges are especially pronounced for neurodivergent women and non-binary individuals navigating intersecting barriers of neurological differences and gender expectations. This research investigates virtual reality (VR) as a portable safe space for emotional regulation, addressing challenges of sensory overload and motion sickness while enhancing relaxation capabilities. Our mixed-methods approach included an online survey (N=223) and an ideation workshop (N=32), which provided key design elements for creating effective calming VR environments. Based on these findings, we developed and iteratively tested VR prototypes with neurodivergent women and non-binary participants (N=12), leading to a final version offering enhanced adaptability to individual sensory needs. This final prototype underwent a comprehensive evaluation with 25 neurodivergent participants to assess its effectiveness as a regulatory tool. This research contributes to the development of inclusive, adaptive VR environments that function as personalized "portable silent rooms" offering neurodivergent individuals on-demand access to sensory regulation regardless of physical location.