Attention-management tools can restrict online communication, but may cause collateral damage to their users’ fulfillment of communication expectations. This paper explores the idea of integrating attention management into instant messaging (IM), by 1) disclosing restriction status via an online status indicator (OSI) to manage contacts’ expectations, and 2) imposing communication limits to reduce communication distraction. We used a speed-dating design method to allow 43 participants to rapidly compare 48 types of OSI restriction in various conversational contexts. We identified two “tug-of-wars” that take place when attention management is integrated into IM apps: one between fulfilling one’s contacts’ expectations and protecting one’s own attention, and the other, between protecting one’s privacy and asserting the justifiability of using communication restrictions. We also highlighted the participants’ desire to be diplomatic for sustaining their positive images and maintaining relational connectedness. Finally, we provide design recommendations for integrating attention management into IM apps.