The efficient simulation of incompressible fluids remains a difficult and open problem. Prior works often make various tradeoffs between incompressibility, stability, and cost. Yet, it is rare to obtain all three. In this paper, we introduce a novel incompressible Smoothed Particle Hydrodynamics (SPH) scheme which uses a second-order implicit descent scheme to optimize a variational energy specially formulated to approach incompressibility. We demonstrate that our method is superior in both incompressibility and stability with a minimal cost to computational budget. Furthermore, we demonstrate that our method is unconditionally stable even under extreme time steps, making it suitable for interactive applications.